


Stay By My Side

by zacekova



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Episode 10 Babylon Revisited, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Missing Scene, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 08:46:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15926930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zacekova/pseuds/zacekova
Summary: “Eiji!” Ash shouted, much closer than before, just outside the door. “Are you in there?”Oh thank goodness. “Yes, I’m in here!” Eiji said. Just hearing his voice, even rough and frantic as it was, was chasing away the anxious, itchy sensation crawling all over his skin, soothing the ache of grief and fear and loneliness in his chest. Just a little.Ash was here.





	Stay By My Side

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this whole thing in about two hours, somehow, and I’m sure it probably shows. It’s sappy and possibly a bit OOC but I really just wanted to see these two kiss already and while watching the latest episode I was literally like “this would be the perfect moment for a kiss.” So yeah, this happened, I am ridiculously attached to these two already and I’m so glad I started watching this show despite the heartache. Ash and Eiji’s relationship is so pure and loyal and beautiful - romantic slant or not (but of course I’m going to make it romantic at every possible opportunity) - and I will stan it probably for the rest of my life. 
> 
> Proofread, but unbetaed because my dear Hymn has not gotten around to watching the show yet and I don’t want to spoil anything for her. Please let me know if there are any typos left so I can fix them.

Eiji rested his forehead against the door, fists curled against the cool, polished wood, and sobbed. Flashes of the last hour, the last day, ran through his head like a horror film on fast-forward, splattered red and echoing with the sound of everyone’s screams.   
  
Shorter was dead.   
  
It was like a cruel, sick joke, a malicious prank gone wrong, but Shorter’s blood was still crusted on his skin and his insides felt like a twisted, wrung out rag. Tears smeared Eiji’s cheeks, dripping off his chin, and he tangled a hand in his shirt to try and soothe away the pain. But it didn’t do anything - his chest, his throat, his heart - it all ached so _much_ and he’d only known Shorter a few days. But Ash...   
  
God, _Ash_. Eiji would never forget the look on his face, the anguish in his eyes, the wretched, heart-wrenching sound of his sobs. 

How could anyone be so callous, so cold-hearted as to force that choice on him? What had Ash even done to deserve it?

Nothing, he’d done nothing, because  _ no one  _ deserved this. It was disgusting. Inhuman. How were they ever supposed to stop people like that, who could stoop so low with no remorse? 

Eiji smacked his forehead lightly against the door - once, twice - eyes screwed shut and trying to wrestle back his grief. He needed to think, needed to find a way to help Ash and get them all out of here. But what was he supposed to _do?_ He didn’t know how to fight, he barely knew how to use a gun. Ash had been right back then and Eiji had known it, even though it’d hurt to hear it. He only ever got in the way, made things more difficult. If it weren’t for him, Ash might’ve already gotten his revenge and cleaned this whole mess up, but he’d been too busy trying to protect Eiji.   
  
And now Shorter was dead because of him, too.   
  
Eiji swallowed, bracing himself against the door and pushing up onto his feet. The tears were starting to dry in crusty streaks - itchy and uncomfortable on his flushed skin - and he scrubbed his arm over his face, breathing in, deeply. He couldn’t waste time falling apart like this, not right now. He needed to stay alert, ready to leave the moment an opportunity showed itself; they’d only get one chance if they got one at all, and he couldn’t be a sobbing, guilt-ridden mess when it came.   
  
There was a bathroom attached to the room Dino’s men had thrown him in and Eiji used it to get cleaned up, washing away the blood and tears as best as he could. He couldn’t do anything about his clothes, but it didn’t matter. He just needed to be _doing_ something - anything - anything at all to keep his mind distracted. 

Eiji scanned the room, hoping to find something he could use to break down the door or pick the lock, but it was pretty bare at first glance, so he just started yanking open drawers and cabinets, rifling through every nook and cranny for something useful. 

There wasn’t a clock in the room, so it was hard to know how much time was going by - how long had he knelt at the door with nothing but the sound of his own ragged breaths in his ear? - but despite how late it was he wasn’t tired, not in the slightest. He tore through the two rooms in a methodical, urgent frenzy, upending them both from top to bottom before starting the process all over again. And again. And again. 

Eventually - when he’d exhausted every inch of the bedroom and attached bathroom more times than he could count - Eiji sat on the edge of the bed and stared at his shoes, waiting. Just waiting, now. There was nothing he could do from here, no way to help until he could get out of this room, so he waited, ready for when the chance came to do something; he’d sit here forever if it meant helping Ash.    
  


~~~

  
It was hours before the first tremors shook the floor, something that sounded like explosions reverberating through the endless halls of Golzine’s mansion. And then he heard it - faint and nearly drowned out by the rumble of gunfire, but Eiji heard it. Heard _him_. 

Ash.     
  
Eiji leaped from the bed, rushing to the door and shouting as loud as he could. In the back of his mind he wondered how Ash had escaped, but pushed it aside for later; he needed to get Ash’s attention and get it  _ now _ . Ash wouldn’t leave him behind, but that meant the longer Ash spent looking for him, the more likely it was that he’d get caught again.    
  
“Eiji!” Ash shouted, much closer than before, just outside the door. “Are you in there?”    
  
Oh thank goodness. “Yes, I’m in here!” Eiji said. Just hearing Ash’s voice, even rough and frantic as it was, was chasing away the anxious, itchy sensation crawling all over his skin, soothing the ache of grief and fear and loneliness in his chest. Just a little. 

Ash was here. 

“Get under the bed and stay low,” Ash said, sounding urgent even through the heavy door. “I’m going to bust the lock.”    
  
Eiji rushed to do as he said, tucking himself as far away from the door as he could and covering his head. The gunfire was loud in the small space, echoing around the sparse room even as the door was kicked off its hinges and fell to the floor with a crash. Eiji crawled out from under the bed, heart leaping into his throat at the sight of Ash standing in the doorway armed like a soldier and haloed in the glow of the hallway light. “Ash! You’re safe!”    
  
Ash accepted the arms Eiji threw around his shoulders calmly, but hissed in pain. 

Eiji shifted back a bit, eyes drawn to a handful of sluggishly-bleeding wounds Ash hadn’t had when Eiji’d been dragged out of the dungeon all those hours ago. “You’re— you’re hurt really bad.” 

“It’s nothing,” Ash said, pushing past him and sitting heavily on the bed. “We have to get out before backup comes.” He unlatched an empty cartridge from the gun in his hands and slid a new one into place with a click.    
  
Eiji looked down at him, at the bow of his back and the slump to his shoulders, so unlike his typical, casual slouch. This was a heavy slump, weary, and it made Eiji’s throat tighten. “But Shorter...” he said. “Are we going to leave him?”    
  
“He’s dead! I killed him!” Ash exploded, strangled and harsh in the quiet room. He whipped his head up and stared Eiji down with fiery, anguished eyes. “You saw it too!”    
  
He spit it out like an accusation.  _You saw it too, didn’t you? Or did you forget already?_

And Eiji should have known - should have known that Ash would be blaming himself for it. He just... hadn’t thought it through that far because he knew without a doubt who was really responsible. But Ash wouldn’t see it that way. Probably couldn’t, yet, not with Shorter’s blood still staining Eiji’s shirt.

“I’m sorry,” he said, swallowing back the tears climbing up his throat. 

Ash just turned away for a moment, seeming to wrestle up the drive to keep going, and pushed up from the bed to head for the door. “Let’s go.”    
  
And this— this was where, maybe, Eiji could finally _do_ something, something to help. He turned around to face Ash’s back and steeled himself, having had hours, days, even weeks, to build up to this moment, to prepare himself for when he’d finally be able to say this. “Give me a gun. I’ll protect myself.”  It was a total one-eighty from his attitude just a few hours ago, but he was done with sitting back and letting Ash do everything, handle everything, bear every burden on his shoulders alone. Eiji could do it, he was sure he could take care of himself. And if he could, then Ash wouldn’t have to worry about him so much anymore, wouldn’t have to get hurt trying to keep him safe. Eiji wouldn’t be a burden anymore. 

But Ash... “There’s no need for that. One murderer is more than enough.” 

And that… that broke Eiji’s heart. Because Eiji knew that despite all of the people Ash had killed before, he’d never called himself a murderer, at least not where Eiji could hear him. 

But the look in his eyes when he turned to face Eiji wasn’t heartbroken or full of self-loathing. It was fierce, determined, blazing like the hottest flames of a fire. “I’ll protect you. So don’t leave my side!”    
  
Eiji’s eyes widened. That— Did Ash know what those words meant to someone from Japan? What they implied? What it implied about how Ash felt about  _him?_

But he barely had a moment to wonder before Ash’s hand was wrapping around the back of his neck - hot and calloused - and yanking him forward into a kiss. 

Eiji stiffened for a moment, just as shocked as he’d been the first time all those weeks ago in the prison. He only had a second to latch on to the smallest of details - Ash’s lips were warm, chapped but soft, and Eiji let his eyes fall shut as he sank into the kiss for a blissful, perfect second. And then Ash was pulling away, mouth opening to speak, but Eiji tangled his fingers in Ash’s shirt and tugged him back down, smashing their lips together.

It was wetter this time, messier, and Eiji’s heart pounded in his chest. It was like soaring over the highest pole jump - that moment of weightless freedom before the fall - and like being wrapped up in a soft, comforting blanket all at the same time. Having Ash so unbelievably, tantalizingly close made his blood rush in his veins and his heart swell with warmth. 

It couldn’t last forever, though - didn’t even last for very long - but when Eiji pulled back he could feel how warm his cheeks were, how his lungs were heaving. 

Even Ash looked a little out of breath, lips spit-slick and his verdant eyes burning, gazing into Eiji’s for a long, taut moment and swirling with hunger and fear and fondness all at once. “I should have done that sooner,” he said, brushing his thumb along the side of Eiji’s neck, all gentle friction and warm distraction. 

“What if I hadn’t let you?” Eiji asked, the flirtatious words spilling out on instinct, despite the fact that he could barely think with Ash looking at him like that.    
  
Ash smirked, moving his hand to brush Eiji’s hair away from his eyes. “You’re not very subtle. You’re not subtle at all, actually.”    
  
Eiji’s cheeks pinked a bit at that, but he didn’t look away. “So why didn’t you?” he asked. 

Ash’s brow furrowed, the darkness and anger from earlier creeping back in, and turned his face to the side, gaze shuttered. “I was trying not to drag you any further into this. I didn’t want you to get hurt or feel obligated to stay. But it doesn’t matter anymore, Dino’s already figured it out.”    
  
“Figured what out?” Eiji asked.    
  
Ash turned back to him slowly, almost... shyly, peering through the fringe of his hair. “How I feel about you,” he said, as soft as a whisper.    
  
Eiji’s breath caught in his throat, his calming heart starting to race again. He should say something, respond to that somehow - tell Ash that he felt the same - but he was frozen, mind repeating Ash’s words on endless repeat.

_ How I feel about you, how I feel about you, how I feel about you. _

Before he could get his brain working again, Ash was moving, stepping back and checking over the gun one last time. “Come on, we need to get moving.” He peered around the doorway cautiously before striding out into the hall, waiting patiently for Eiji to follow. 

Eiji shook his head, willing it to dispel any distracting thoughts, and then stepped out into the hall and followed as close as he could without getting in the way. “Okay. Let’s go.” 

 

~~~

 

Later, when Ash is leaving to find Shorter’s bo— to find Shorter, and Eiji is leaving with the others; when they have to separate because it’s the best way for Eiji to stay safe even though he won’t be at Ash’s side; when they’re looking death in the face _again_ , for what feels like the hundredth time, Eiji thinks about how Ash trusted Shorter to protect Eiji. Thinks about how Ash shot his own best friend to keep him from suffering for the rest of his life, but how he also did it to protect _Eiji_. 

And suddenly he can’t keep it to himself anymore, can’t be afraid to bare his heart when he knows this could very well be the last chance he has to tell him. To tell Ash “If I ever lose you too, I’ll go crazy.” 

Ash’s eyes shimmer, the look on his face surprised and vulnerable and afraid. It makes Eiji want to hold him close and drag him away from this place, away from all of this, and make sure he never gets hurt again. But his expression hardens after a moment, that unwavering determination back as Ash makes sure his men know just how important Eiji’s safety is to him, makes sure they’ll protect him until Ash can come back and do it himself.   
  
And that makes Eiji’s heart swell with warmth, with affection, with lo—  
  
No. No, he’ll save that for when he can _tell_ Ash, in person and with the time and care it deserves. But for now… 

For now, Eiji calls out to him as he’s walking away - gun on his shoulder and blood on his skin. “Ash! Come back safely! I’ll be waiting for you, forever.” 

He sees Ash’s shoulders hitch, stiff with surprise - and Eiji wonders for the space of a breath what kind of expression he has on his face, what those expressive, piercing green eyes look like - and then Ash is marching forward again, back rigid with confidence and determination.   
  
And for just a moment, as futile as he knows it might be, Eiji lets himself believe that Ash _will_ come back okay, that they’ll _be_ okay. If they’ve got each other, maybe they can be. 

**Author's Note:**

> I am having so many feelings about these two having the same line of immensely important and emotionally charged dialogue as Victurri. So many feelings.
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://zacekova.tumblr.com/). I take prompts!


End file.
